Chapter Eight
Carpet Fuzz
Sands felt his knees buckle before he even knew what was happening. Two seconds later, he was face down on the thin layer of carpet in Jorge’s room. He grunted as he felt his muscles convulse in pain from his sudden movement. The stupidity of his actions rang clearly in his dark mind.
Sands knew he was over reacting when Jorge touched him. The man only wanted to help him with his spilled soup for crying out loud! Sands knew that, he KNEW it, but couldn’t stop himself from spitting at the man with demands.
The Agent felt all his former strength leave his body as he laid face down on the carpet. His hollow sockets in his face were burning with pain and his gun shot wounds were starting to make their appearance be known to him. He clenched his teeth as his muscles continued to quake from their sudden burst of energy and movement.
He sighed. That was all he could do. He was helpless for right now. That was clear enough to him. But, he knew if there ever was a place where he could be helpless and it wouldn’t matter, it would be here. In a place where three people were looking out for him, even though Sands didn’t have to push them to do it.
This, he was confused about. Why would anyone with any sort of heart ever care about him? He was a murder who only cared for himself and himself alone. Well, that wasn’t true. He cared about someone. Someone that he wasn’t even sure was alive right now. Probably the only person that Sands would give his life for.
Sands snorted into the carpet fuzz by his nose. He had given everything for this person. He was beaten from the age of eight until he was fifteen for this person. He was the ‘bad’ one in school for this person. He was the one who made it out of the broken house and made a living for this person. He gave up his heart and most likely his soul for this person. To make sure that this person did not suffer any more then they had too. Hell! His life wasn’t much after all that now was it? Come to think of it, his life wasn’t worth shit after all that. What more could this person ask from him?
Sands tired to get angry. Anger always made him move despite pain and injury. It always made him get to his feet and get ready to fight if he had to. But, anger didn’t come. Only a sadness that only leaked into Sands when everyone had gone and no one was there to witness it. Despite everything that happened. Despite what everyone thought of Sands, Sands truly did have feelings and he longed to express those feelings with only one person. That person… who Sands would give his life for.
Darkness drifted its way into Sands’ mind and took control of it. Throwing all feelings away and making sure that Sands would dream. The sort of darkness that makes you hide under your covers as a child and shriek for your parents to come running in to save you from the monsters larking in the indefinite dark.
‘Sheldon….. Sheldon….’ A voice called out for him. Sheldon looked up from under his covers to see his gentle mother standing over him with a worried expression. His whole body was hot, yet he felt that he needed more blankets.
‘You have a fever Sheldon.’ His mother said, putting her cool hand on his forehead. ‘I will make you some soup.’
Sheldon’s big brown eyes looked up at his mother. Her hazel eyes and rich, chocolate colored hair shone in the morning light. His mother was a beauty that was rare to find. Neither looks nor figure. But inside of her, is where her beauty lay hidden. She was a gentle, kind woman, but she was also a very weak one. Broken down by a hard life and broken every night that his father came home drunk.
She left, with her flat bottomed shoes clicking all the way out of the room. Sheldon turned his head to the left.
Mort, his brother, was sitting by the window in a child made chair. His brows were together in a frown and his eyes filled with worry and confusion. Mort did not know why his brother was sick. Sheldon had been fine the other day. Mort had only been gone over night. Could sickness really happen that fast? Mort’s brows only creased more in concern and thought.
‘Come here.’ Sheldon said with a strained voice.
Mort rose from his chair and quickly scampered over to his brother. He hoped on the bed and looked down at his brother.
‘I want you to know something Mort.’ Sheldon said, seriously.
‘What is it, Shell?’ Mort asked, using Sheldon’s nickname. The nick name that only Mort could dare to call him by and not receive a black eye for it.
‘I want you to know…’ Sheldon said, reaching a sweaty hand from under the blanket and gently touching his twin brother’s face. ‘That no matter what happens… to either of us… even if one of us dies… that we are brothers… we’re blood… we shared everything together… and because of that… I will always be there for you… and-‘but Sheldon was cut off by a coughing fit.
His mother walked into the room and instantly sent Mort out of the room in order to treat Sheldon.
‘Go on.’ Their mother said. ‘You need to finish your homework.’
Mort opened his mouth to complain, but one look from their mother and his mouth closed. He tried to take one long look into his brother’s eyes but his brother had his head turned away. His hand was now lying on top of the blankets, no longer touching him.
Mort sighed, knowing that Sheldon would not be the one to show emotion while trying to act tough for the sake of their mother. He inched off the bed and bowed his head as he sulked out of the room.
His mother smiled gently at him and cat next to him on the bed. ‘Now, prop yourself up if you want to eat your soup.’
Sheldon drifted out of his gentle dream into a nightmare. The room began to spin and the once sharp outline of everything started to blur and become unrecognizable. He seemed to be viewing what was going on rather then living it this time.
Sands watched as his mother was thrown into the room where he and his brother trembled in the corner, hugging each other. His father walked in, a beer in his hand and a drunken look upon his face.
His father grabbed his mother’s hair and wrenched her off of the floor. Her nose and mouth were already steaming blood from them living a river. Her cheek was bright red from a strike across the face.
‘You stupid Bitch!’ He yelled into her face before slapping her with the beer can. ‘Why can’t you clean the floors right, huh? Are you really that fucking useless?’
Mort shook in terror, hiding his face into Sheldon’s chest, sobbing as quiet as he could as he didn’t alert their father to their presence.
Sheldon stiffened as his father grabbed his mother once more. He knew his father was just getting warmed up. Tonight, his father had lost his job and was taking everything out on his family. He had only laid a hand on Sheldon once before and he had never touched Mort so far.
As Sands watched, he remembered the agony he went through during this part of his life. He felt so useless and helpless. Two things that he never wanted to feel again if he ever had the choice in the matter. He also remembered his exact thought as he watched his young self slowly stand up.
“Damn… I really was stupid as a child.” Sands said out loud, knowing he could do nothing in his dream. Though, this wasn’t really a dream. This was a true blue memory happening. One that he’d rather forget.
“I know what he’ll do.” He said, referring to his younger self. “I had just thought to myself that this was it. If it didn’t stop here and now, then my father will come after Mort sooner or later. Maybe even kill my mother. So, it’s up to me to stop this. Damn… I really was stupid at eight.”
Sheldon shrugged off the hold that Mort had on him. He turned to look into Mort’s scared eyes before saying. ‘I’ll stop this. Don’t worry. He’ll never hurt you or mother ever again. I won’t let him.’
Mort nodded. Sheldon had never lied to him before. He had always kept his promises and never told a single lie to Mort his whole life as Mort had never told Sheldon a lie. So, if Sheldon said that he would stop his Mother from being hurt, then he would stop it.
Sheldon moved across the room, until his father turned to him from hearing him.
‘What the fuck do you want?’ He asked, his dark brown eyes glazed over from the amount of alcohol in his system. ‘You think you’re better then me? You ain’t better then me. I’m the fucking GOD of this castle, do you understand me? I’m fucking GOD and you’d better get your ass away before I smack you like that bitch over there.’
Sheldon clenched his fists and glared at his father, even though inside he was shaking like a leaf. ‘Get the fuck away from my mother you filthy bastard.’
Mort gasped at the language he heard. Sure, he heard it from his father before, but never from his brother! His own mother never said a single bad word, even though she was always getting hurt by his father.
‘What did you say to me boy?’ His father asked, dropping his sobbing mother to the floor. She was silently begging god to take her children away from this as she did.
‘You heard what I said or are you too damn drunk to fucking hear right?’ Sheldon said, glaring even more at the man.
His father chuckled a little. ‘You think you’re a match for me boy? Do you?’ He moved closer to his son and attempted to grab onto Sheldon, but Sheldon ducked under the hand. This only made his father angry. His teeth were bared and he grabbed onto the back of Sheldon’s hair and pulled until Sheldon yelled in pain. ‘You think you can hurt me? You think you have the right to talk to your father that way? Well, I’ll teach you some damn manners.’
Sheldon say stars in his eyes that night.
Sands woke up with a gasp as he gulped for air from the horrible nightmare he had. Damn. He wished he could actually call it a nightmare. It was a memory. One that would surface around the day he last saw his brother.
“I see you’re awake.” El said, to his right.
Sands turned his head over, noticing he had a soft pillow under his head and a blanket on him. He was also wearing a shirt now instead of just the boxers. That thought of having more clothes on made him feel a hell of a lot more comfortable.
“Gee El, what would make you guess that?” Sands said, sitting up to a more comfortable position.
“You seem to have been having a nightmare.” El came across as casual as the mariachi could.
“Not a nightmare..,” Sands said with a solemn voice, which shocked El. “a memory.”
“That bad,” El asked with slight concern. What would be so horrible in the Agent’s past to make him shudder and scream in his sleep?
Sands turned his head away as if to think about it. He should never reveal that part of himself to another person. Even though as one point, he was willing to let that betraying bitch Ajedrez know his past at one point. Well, only since after sleeping with her, he screamed out in the middle of the night and she had asked him why. Of course, he snapped at her saying that she was so terrible he was having nightmares about it, which of course pissed her off so bad that she changed the key to the room.
“I know about bad memories.” El said in a sobering voice.
If Sands had eyes, he would have rolled them about now.
“Do you know why I become a gunman?” El asked, not sure if the Agent had looked into it.
“I know enough to get the idea.” Sands explained, remembering parts of the file he had on El, which was locked away in his glove compartment of his car… which is probably being sold by a Mexican drug dealer right about now. And he liked that car too.
“Well, let me explain for you a bit more.” El said, adjusting his chair a little, as though settling in for a story.
‘Well, let’s brake out the tissues because folks, we’re in for a long story.’ Sands thought to himself in humor.
“When I started traveling to become a great mariachi like my father, I had no idea that Mexico was so dangerous. I never carried around a gun or a knife or anything to protect myself with. I highly doubted I could use one properly let alone be in enough danger to even try too.” El stroked his chin. Sands could hear the whiskers being brushed by his hands.
“All I carried was a guitar with me. I barely had any money to my name and the only means of travel that I had was hitch hiking through Mexico.” El continued.
Sands would have made a comment, but it didn’t seem to be the time for it. Right now, even though Sands didn’t want to admit it, it was time to shut up and listen. Not for El’s sake, but for his own.
“I came to this town and tried to get hired, but they said that there were no more uses for Mariachi’s anymore now that everyone had keyboards and equipment that could become a whole band. So, I was left without a means to support myself in that town. I decided to wait a day to see if I could find another bar to play in, even if it were for one night. I could have used the money. I only had enough money for maybe a night or two in a hotel.”
El paused for a second, almost as if to remember everything that had happened.
“Everything happened too fast for me to remember it all in great detail, but what I really remember it finding out that I had somehow been mistaken for an assassin that used a guitar case as a means to carry guns around. So, I had no choice but to defend myself, even though I had never used a gun before. I tried to run and hide, but they found me in the alleyway. I remember opening the case but that was it. The next thing I knew, I had a gun in my hand and a dead man at the end of the alley way.”
El ran his hands through his hair, stroking his temples at the same time. He wondered why he was freely giving the Agent information he could use against him, but figured that Sands needed some coaxing before he would come out of his shell.
“I was afraid… afraid of what I was becoming and what I had to become. I tried once again to get out of it before it got out of hand, but… everything fell apart. My first love was shot by the leader of the cartel gang and he shot my left hand while I had my hands up in surrender.” El touched his left hand where a thick scar had formed over his own smooth hand.
Sands tilted his head to the side in thought. He knew of the cartel’s cruelty. Shooting a guitar playing man in the hand while he was willing to surrender was something that was almost up with stealing an Agent’s eyes that he used to watch his chess pieces do his dirty work while he sat back and watched.
“After that, I had decided that I would end that evil and stop them from ever doing such a thing to anyone else. I had killed them all in cold blood. I turned around and walked away like nothing had happened. I grabbed my case and walked out of town only to wonder around, killing other members of the cartel just as I had done their leader.”
El ended the story. His voice was thickened with emotions long forgotten. Love, confusion, hate, rage, sorrow and guilt all pledged this man’s voice as filtered the air around Sands.
If Sands were the caring type, he might have put an arm around El at that moment. If Sands were the weak type, he might have said ‘I’m so sorry’. If Sands were the emotional type, he might have cried. But luckily for Sands, he was the creative type.
“What a fucking sob story.” Sands said, wishing desperately for his cigarettes at that moment so he could at least do the dramatic puff of smoke before continuing. “If that was supposed to be your worst memory, then you’d better be glad you never lived in my shoes.”
At that, El stared at Sands. Had that really not even brushed on the pain that Sands had felt? Did El truly want to know how Sands become who he was?
El didn’t even have to ask that question out loud to know the answer. Yes. He wanted to know about this Agent. He wanted to know everything about this Agent. If only to understand him better, he wanted to know. If only he could relate to Sands, life would be easier for everyone. At least, that’s what El would like to believe.
“I’ll tell you a better story for the books.” his voice as unemotional as ever. “Once upon a time, there were two boys, a mother and a father. Now, they all lived on a happily block with happy picket fence with a happy neighbor with a happy car and a happy little puppy dog. Then, the happy little family’s father lost his job. Now, the family wasn’t so happy anymore. The father began to drink his problems away, only to give the happy little family a happy little beating every time. Now, he knew better then to touch the happy little sons, but the happy little mother just couldn’t move fast enough. So, the happy little family kept quiet for a few years, until the happy little father got a happy little job.”
El’s jaw had clenched shut and his eyes were burning with rage. He knew Sands was speaking of his own life. The only question was, was Sands the father or the son?
“Now, things were happy for awhile, but this little happy family wasn’t meant to be. See, the Father had loved beer so much, he decided to drink almost every night. So, the happy little family wasn’t happy for too long. Until, the happy little son decided to stand up like a fucking happy prick and defend the happy little mother. The happy little son went through the happy little beating until he was the ripe age of fifteen when the happy policemen took the happy little son away. Now, the happy little son was too smart for the happy little orphanage, so they sent the happy little son to a special school which made the happy little son sign up for the happy little CIA service which never let the happy little son ever see his happy little brother or happy little mother ever again. The End.”
Sands had finally turned his face to El and was smiling that strange, insane smile that always make El want to shrink into the floor to get away from.
“Now, isn’t that a happy little fucking tale?” Sands said, wishing he had his smokes even more now.
El had no idea what to say after that. What could he say to a man that had been beaten as a child, pulled from that home, only to end up being forced into a future he didn’t want and then having his eyes drilled out? That would make anyone who isn’t insanely strong willed go insane from the pure stress of it all! And yet, Sands sat in front of El. Alive and holding onto life with a tight grip. He threw sarcastic remarks at everyone and even joked about his past like it was nothing more then a casual conversation like the weather. This man was a force that El doubted that even the devil couldn’t control. And that thought made El worry all the same.
The room stayed quiet and the air grew thick as El tired to come up with something, anything to say to this man. But nothing that his mind had come up with, sounded decent enough to say to the Agent in front of him.
But, it was not El who broke the silence, but Sands.
Sands gave a sigh and bowed his head. “Tell Jorge… that I didn’t mean to freak out on him like that…”
El blinked in surprise. Was this man actually apologizing?
Sands seemed to hear what El was thinking and said, “But if he ever has the slightest idea of ever doing that again, I’ll rip his nuts off.”
El nodded, forgetting for a few seconds that Sands could not see. “I’ll give him that message.” El scratched his chin. He really needed a shave. “Though, it might have to wait a day or so more. You really shook him up with that display.”
Sands finally let out a chuckle of real happiness come through all the gloom he was actually surrounding himself with lately. “Is he really that shaken up by that?”
“Yes. He’s had a hard time getting over the fact that you looked like you were going to kill him for it. It seems Jorge hasn’t been mortally threatened in a long time.” El said, looking over his shoulder at the door, even though Jorge would most likely be in town getting supplies this time of the day then sitting in the other room beyond the door reading his newspaper.
Sands gave a smirk and tilted his head a tad bit. “Well, we’re going to have to fix that now aren’t we?”
If El had been more comfortable around the Agent, he might have put his hand on Sand’s shoulder in good faith to laugh with him. But, he was not that comfortable and neither was Sands with El. They were both enemies of a sort and did not trust each other with contact nor with weapons, but they did trust each other in a way. They knew they could meet on an even ground and talk to one another as only two gunman came.
El smiled as he watched the smile play on the Agent’s face as they spoke more about their thoughts and feelings about Mexico. They both indulged in each other’s company for the rest of the day, only stopping to eat and bathroom trips.
When night finally fell and both the men were tired from their long conversations, they both decided to end it.
“I guess it’s rather late by the way my body feels.” Sands said, yawning to prove his point. He was already drifting into sleep even as he spoke.
“I guess it is.” El said, standing up with his crutch. “If you want, I’ll let Marcus come in here to visit. I hear Jorge has to hold him back in order to stop him from barging in here every five seconds.”
Sands smirked at that. He knew the kid looked up to him. And this proved his point. He was glad that at least SOME information from the Day of the Dead was correct.
El wasn’t sure how to bid Sands farewell. He knew Sands didn’t want to be touched and he was all too happy to abide by that rule, but he wasn’t sure if farewells were included in that rule.
Sands decided for him. Sands inclined his head towards El. “Night.”
El made a nod, even though he knew Sands couldn’t see it. It was the fact that Sands expected him to do that anyway that made El do it. “Night.”
He made his way to the door and left.
Sands drifted off to sleep and for the first time in several years, had a peaceful night sleep.
Author’s Note-
Hello everyone! Long chapter there! See? There was a reason why I didn’t update as quickly as everyone wanted me to update. I was writing. Well…. Ok… I’ll admit it. I spent about three hours (it’s 5 in the morning now) writing this chapter at my friend’s house because I couldn’t fall asleep. That and the fact that she has Microsoft Word, which made writing about a thousand times easier! I wish I had it on my computer! Oh.. Speaking of computer, my internet is down for right now. It seems the guy who fixed our phone line, messed it up for my dsl so I can’t sign online anymore! It really sucks, but at least my friend is kind enough to left me borrow her computer for right now. Well, that’s It about my boring life. Now, onto the ‘thank you’s!
empath89- You thought that was sad? Aww.. well, I guess it was. Well, if you thought that was sad... gee... man this must be turning into a sob story for you then.
Mina aka Mockingbird- hehe. I know. I love my Agent Sands. He's so troubled and yet so damned cool! I sort of gave you what you wanted. El is at least TRYING to get through to Sands, which is a plus, if you ask me. You like my drawing? dances with glee That's actually pretty bad compared to my usual drawings.. I promise to draw for more chapters once my computer is fixed and all that good stuff. I can't help but draw the wonderful Agent and all his sexy glory!
Starr Dust- It took me a few viewings before I even noticed it. Well, I'm weird and look for things like that. I actually looked for times when Sands was touched. The boy touched him, but only when Sands was expecting it. The woman touched him, but he shot her a few seconds afterwards. The man grabbed him, but only after he was drugged up. Other then that, it was Sands touching people, but only for breif moments if they were alive and carrying that one dead body was the only extended contact he ever had in the whole movie! Well, the boy too, but that I will take into consideration for later chapters. All shall be explained. I promise.
quick29- Thank you! I like it that you think my other chapters have been 'good'.
vanillafluffy- Review for chapter 6? Blah! What about seven, huh? lol. Just kidding with you. I am glad that you're still reviewing though. I seem to have lost one or two people... goes on a search for them
Kerttu- points to the comment for starr dust I explain the whole, Sands touchy thing there. Man... I love giving out information don't I? I bet Sands would love me if he ever met me. I can't keep a damn secrete! Blah.. I shall be returning to my bed soon and try to keep my mouth shut about future chapters from now on. I seem to get a funny feeling that everyone was expecting this chapter to go this way...
DeppDRACOmaniac- hehehe! Yes, all my little slaves shall all write slashly goodness for me to read! mwahahaha! Seriously, there's almost no good El/Sands slash fanfics. I've seen about two good ones. Miss Becky is the freaking greatest on El/Sands. I love her fanfics. In fact, I keep re-reading them in hopes that I will one day become as good as her. Well, since I shall try to get back on subject here... if you write a fic on OUATIM, I shall read the first chapter at the very least! I tend to forget easily about fanfics. blushes If I don't have a friend who is always reading it, I tend to completely forget about the fanfic all together... but I shall try. Honestly! I shall try to read the story if you wirte it and review all the chapters. grins Now, if you'd like, you can review MY story. hehe.
